It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
