Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
