Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize