My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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