Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
