My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
