Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
