I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
we're so committed to being not committed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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