I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
