I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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