no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
