Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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