took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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