OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
