She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
