Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
