I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
