I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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