I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
