apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
