What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
