Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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