You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
