the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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