Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
