she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wear drunk well.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
