I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
