I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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