I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
