chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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