What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Your cock deserves a montage
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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