i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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