It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
