I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
