Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
