Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
