Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
