Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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