Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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