i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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