Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do herpes really smell.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
