So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize