We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
