I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
