my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We need to get me chipped asap
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
