Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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