It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
