Sorry, I don't speak sober.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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