I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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