I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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