The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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