I puked a lego.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
