Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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