bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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