so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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