it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they need to just BURY HIM!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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