If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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