YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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