Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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