Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
