You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
