I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
