We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
this hospital has no fireball
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize