Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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