I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
