We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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