Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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