As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
