True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
