Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
