He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
